Principal Skinner; The Original Don Draper

In 2009 the fictional Mad Men character Don Draper was given the title of the world's most influential man. For the purpose of this post I am going to put aside my concerns with the world having a cynical, arrogant, womanising deserter as a role model. But who influenced Draper?

The official line is that the character is based on real life 50s ad-man Draper Daniels, but I have another theory.

Principal Seymour Skinner.

Both Skinner and Draper were orphans, Don's mother, a prostitute, died in child birth and his alcoholic father died when he was 10. Skinner's past is even more tragic as, although we know he was an orphan, his character has not yet come to terms with this and so has not even given any clues as to what exactly happened to him.

Sgt. Skinner

Both troubled souls were enlisted in the US Army under their real names, Skinner being Armin Tamzarian and Draper being Dick Whitman. They were sent to conflicts that they were completely unprepared for and ultimately lead to them stealing the identities of their superior officers.

Lt. Draper with Private Whitman

These stolen identities eventually come out, famously for Skinner in front of the whole town during the episode 'The Principal and the Pauper' and in front of Draper's boss Bert Cooper. Both the town of Springfield and Draper's boss shrug it off and return to normal.

It could be argued that the only person Draper has really loved is he ex-wife Betty, who just as Skinner's romantic interest, Edna Krabappel, struggles with the drudgery of everyday life. Skinner and Draper have commitment issues which lead to the unhappiness of the woman in their lives.

Betty, wishing for freedom.

Edna, bittered by life.

It was difficult to choose just one picture of this man.

It is true that in a comparison of their success in their jobs, Skinner perhaps doesn't not perform as well as Draper, but I would say that the lack of government funding in Skinner's line of work has a great impact on how creative that he can be in his job.

I love Mad Men and all the characters, Don Draper is fascinating and it is exciting how parts of his past are revealed through a series of flashbacks and his self-destructive and deluded behaviour.


But, Armin Tamzarian is so deep and complex that his real life can not be revealed on a family show. The rebel-without-a-cause is so tormented by the demons of his past that he feels comforted by his Norman Bates-style relationship with his mother.

His mysterious past what keeps him from committing to his true love and similarly moves him to champion the school and all the children. This is part of the reason why he has never completely excluded Bart Simpson, because in truth, he sees much of himself in his cheeky smile and mischievous eyes.

Beneath his grey hair and lavender shirt lies a man with a wild heart and an unbroken lust for life.

Who is Principal Seymour Skinner?

Rebel without a cause

Too cool to push

No, not that type of push. Not pushing a baby out, you are getting your colloquialisms confused.

I am of course talking about those who walk amongst us who are too cool to push the button on puffin crossings -that's right 'puffin', the ones with the green and red men, I did my homework.

In case you are not familiar with these types of crossings then read no further, you are obviously much too posh for this site, what with your chaffer driven cars, you have probably never even been on a bus, let alone had to walk anywhere. This site will be more to your needs; http://howtospendit.ft.com/ Goodbye.

Anyway, I have seen it so many times, and guys, you do not look cool striding across the road then realising that you have misjudged it and you have to break into that pathetic little half jog the rest of the way.

It amuses me that younger men (I live right by a puffin crossing and it is usually younger men) feel that they need to flaunt their male prowess in this fashion.

Working on the assumption that our primal instincts are somehow at work here, what does the lack of button pressing show?

Is it that this man is simply too important to be airing on the side of caution - he's got places to go, people to see? Has feminism emasculated men so much that his only chance of boasting about his manhood is to put his life in jeopardy by not crossing when the green man says so?

Perhaps these men are showing some sort of deep seeded rebellion against society and by not being sucked into the 'illusion of choice' of a green man or a red man, they are saying "fuck you establishment". Or is it something far more incredible, that the man in question is so in control of the situation that he can manipulate the traffic at his will? *Whispers* superheroes are finally here.

This odd macho behaviour is also true of those younger men who push buggies and prams with one hand, just so they can keep their swagger, which they do so well in the tracksuits of the late 90s, Jeremy Kyle-style. Prams are impossible to navigate and steer at the best of times, never mind with one hand. I suspect that this may have a deep seeded reason, like, "is this baby even mine?"

But why the threat of danger? Why the living on the edge, but in the most mundane ways?

Obviously this is an extremely serious issue that needs to be addressed by the nation. Our young men are at worst hurting and not being able to express this hurt or, perhaps more worryingly, just not grasping how to use basic, everyday, objects. Is this more evidence of 'broken Britain'?

Stop. Press. Wait for the green man.

#WaitForTheGreenMan

Please, for the love of god, just wait for the green man.

Me? I am a stay-at-home mum.

It's day two. And this human experiment of mine is going sour fast.

On my second full day of no job or college, I'm struggling.

The first day consisted mostly of lounging around trying to look busy, for who's benefit I'm not sure, but occasionally I would swiftly get up and wash my tea cup, fold some laundry and make more tea.

Today I had renewed vigour, I tidied the whole house, finished the DIY in my son's bedroom, read the paper, went to the shops and baked a cake, only to glance at my watch and find that it was noon. I could have passed for a regular 50s housewife if it weren't for the fact I was wearing jeans.

But, it got me thinking, there is no shame in being a housewife.

When I was younger I was determined to never be a stay-at-home mum, I wanted a career and a family, the 90s third-wave feminism had worked its magic and I wanted it all; a career, children and to break the mould and have a house-husband. Radical, I know. Fight the system!

But, it worked out that my partner got a job and I was left holding the baby. And the truth is, I will cherish those days for the rest of my life. I had embraced domesticity and all it had to offer. So suck on that Carrie Bradshaw.

The moments I felt like I was betraying myself (and maybe even the sisterhood) was when people asked me: "And what do you do for a living." I would immediately down-play my role by saying: "Well, at the moment, I am just a stay-at-home mum." "Just"? Just a stay-at-home mum? Why just? Because lets face it, if you are doing the job right it is hard work.

From messy potty training to home hair cuts; motherhood is tough. And while kneading the dough for fresh bread I couldn't escape the feeling that I had sold out, I was Betty Drapper. Well, perhaps not quite.

"Husband! Look what I did!"

But, baking, knitting, sewing, pickling, making jams, all of the domestic goddess's dark arts are now in vogue with the rise of the 'hipster housewife' and the feminists embracing the traditional homely 'woman's work'. And, as it rising in a more natural popularity, these highly skilled jobs become highly respected, as 1960s feminist Betty Friedan points out in this interview here.

Women, albeit mainly middle-class white women, are picking up the skills their mothers fought for them not to have to for reasons other than the 50s illusion of domestic bliss. It's because of necessity, concern for the environment and self-sufficiency.

I suppose my meandering point is, while I job hunt I should once again invoke the call of the oven cleaner, live in the moment and enjoy my homemade cake - guilt free.