Behold! The God of Mass Transit!

I have never liked to think of myself as easily corruptible, but I recently brought a weekly travel pass and I feel like a God.

I usually buy day travel passes and have to rummage around in my bag for the correct change like a filthy peasant -if you have had any experience at handing paper money to a bus driver you will know how it is imperative to a safe, happy journey to have the correct change.

But, no longer do I need to engage in empty pleasantries while I purchase a ticket; no longer do I need to wait in line while the student in front counts out his fare in pennies (rookie mistake - this it is as equally annoying to the driver as Charles Darwin or Elizabeth Fry rearing their ugly heads, it's legal tender, dammit!); no longer do I need to struggle to my seat with the bus in motion as my ticket floats towards the chewing gum riddled floor.

Now that I have a weekly travel pass I can waltz on to the bus without even a sideways glance at my chauffeur, just one quick flash of my pass and I'm in, no questions asked. I can go anywhere (as long as it in in zones A-E); at any time (as long as it is between the hours of 6 am and midnight); on any mode of travel (as long as it is owned by specified transport provider): I feel like a God. A God, I tell you!

I could easily get hooked on the power of the pass, the knowing glances from the train guards as I stride through an open gate instead of having to fiddle around with the ticket barriers, their eyes say 'This is a woman that travels, she knows what she's doing'. The envy of the sheep being herded through the tiny gates, you should have gone the post office, you plebs.

Realistically, I couldn't afford to do this every week, so when the clock strikes 12 on Monday I shall shrink back to being the Cinders of public transport. It is just way to expensive.

A recent survey by Santander 123 World found that we spend, on average, £782 a year on travelling to work by public transport and with incomes that aren't stretching as far as they once were and above inflation rate price rises in travel fares, this is a lot of money.

When I bought my new TV I joked how I was beginning the process of pointing my furniture at the most expensive thing I own, then a friend said how if she were to do that she would have to point it at her yearly bus pass, costing between £470 and £665 - more than my TV.

I could only imagine the power of near-unlimited bus travel power for a whole year. If I wanted the whole package -travelling by bus, train and ferry- it would cost over £1,000 for a year. For that I would be pointing all my furniture at the pass on an alter in the centre of the room and every morning crusading through the house to retrieve it, Indiana Jones-style, complete with a ball of unpaid bills from the doormat rumbling down the street after me. Epic prices call for epic daily usage, I would want my money's worth.

So, I am going to relish my week of extravagance, make lots of unnecessary bus rides, look down on those with pocket change and wave like the Queen from the window, for this week I am the God of Mass Transit.